Will I do it again next year?
Short Answer: We’ll see if I’m in Chicago and have nothing else to do. I definitely think highly of it and may be even work anywhere as Santa for the Christmas season. I just would have to think about where I am at this time next year.
Long Answer: There are some Santas who don’t just hang up the suit on December 26th. Through out the year there are promotional ad campaigns shot. There might even be Christmas in July parties. Don’t get to thinking that one can be a professional Santa because there really isn’t enough work at least that I know of for one person to do everything and make a living from it.
It’s really just good holiday money and a fun thing to do if you like it. I enjoyed my time as best I could. Maybe through this blog I have inspired others to pursue similar seasonal jobs. Or I have shown what not to do. I would like to know if anyone has started to consider if they would take on a part-time christmas job. I would think not. I think people read this and feel like it’s a good read. “Ah a nice story you have there Kamphey” they will say but they won’t do anything. There’s nothing really to do after reading something like this.
It’s not like watching a documentary on New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina and wanting to help the people still in trouble. It’s not like reading a good investigative report on the child smuggling operations of Africa. It’s not like reading a review of a restaurant or a movie and then going to it.
I’m totally sure after reading some of these little incidents that I would not subject myself to that type of behavior from patrons. I mean I had enough trouble serving a free dinner to people. They were picky or rude sometimes but overall with that job I felt like I was really doing good. I feel like the Santa charade is a big con game. A great con is being played upon the children of the world.
I spend the rest of the week as a Santa’s Helper and I’m let down by the non events taking place. I’m just get tired of the whole experience. After 8 weeks I thought I’d really get somewhere but I just want this whole thing to be over now. What I’d really like is some interesting things to happen once again but to no avail. But what really happens is not exciting at all. The season ends. Christmas Day comes way too fast. The job just ends.
I will take the next few posts to answer any more questions anyone has or has had while privately talking with them about the experience.
Filed under: Chicago, My SantaLand Diaries | Tags: beard, de-wigging, unmasked Santa
The day that turned out to be my last day as Santa was pretty uneventful until the final family. Up until this point I had this fear of kids pulling off my beard or some baby just pulling enough for a camera to catch my facial hair or my black hair underneath the wig. I didn’t want some smart ass kid to just come in and say “You’re not the real Santa,” and just take a good yank on the beard.
It hadn’t happened yet and thankfully it didn’t happen at all. Although I did witness a de-wigging which I will get to in a moment. My final kid of the final day as Santa was just slightly eventful. As I was giving the kid a button it got stuck in my beard. I tried getting it out and it just wouldn’t come out. I tried twisting it and tried feeling around for where it was stuck but to no avail it didn’t come out. I ended up just grabbing another button from the basket and giving it to him. The worst part was that I was cracking up. I kept giggling about the damn button stuck in my beard which made me laugh more. I was mortified by getting this thing stuck in my beard. I was sitting there waving goodbye and saying Merry Christmas with a frigin button hanging in my beard and laughing under my beard. I knew I looked ridiculous.
The De-wigging took place quite interestingly enough during a taping of a DVD. It was Seminole Santa, the one from Jacksonville. A 5 year old girl and her big brother no more than 9 years old was visiting. The girl is on Santa’s knee with the boy on the bench next to Santa. As Santa is asking the girl what she wants the boy grabs Santa’s cap. Santa’s wig falls down into his lap next to the girl who is reading from her list.
Mind you I am trying to fix the printer that keeps jamming so all I hear are gasps and I look up see Santa de-wigged and the kid sitting there with Santa’s hat on. The mother gasped. The DVD is still running. The boy just wanted the hat but took off the wig in the process. The father is no where to be found. A moment after I stop the DVD the mom grabs the kid and puts him in the corner asking him why he did that and what not.
She berates him for the remainder of the time they were around the area. As they were in the waiting area waiting for the DVD to finish she is still yelling at him. She tells him about what’s going to happen when Dad finds out. The best thing or the worst thing depending on whose perspective is that there’s proof positive of the whole thing. It’s all captured on DVD. The dad wasn’t there but there’s no lying to the camera. I really wanted a copy of that DVD.
I get in at 7:30am even though I was told that I would be working Daley Plaza today. Daley Plaza is from 10am to 3pm and then an hour lunch then 4pm to 8pm. My original schedule was from 7:30am to 3:30pm. Instead of just letting me go to Daley Plaza at 10 they wanted me to come in at my original scheduled time and then stay 5 hours late. I also have to do paper work after 8pm so I don’t get out until 8:30pm at the latest.
Of course there’s nobody there at 7:30am to see Santa so we all just stand around and talk. I’m still not buddy buddy with anyone and have nothing to say to these people I work with. We all just end up talking about how crappy this job is and complain about being there this early when nobody is coming to see Santa this early .
The entire day is saved by this incident:
I’m at the greeting station talking with Michelf who is dressed up in her elf gear. A single family comes around the corner but very slowly as they have to play with everything. The first one we see is the Mom who immediately upon seeing Michelf stops and points. She calls out to her family “Look at the elf.” Of course she repeats it trying to get her family’s attention. “Look at the ELF!” The family doesn’t pay attention probably because she always repeats things so they don’t have to listen to her but she repeats this because they don’t listen to her and it becomes this vicious cycle. For a few moments she keeps on repeating, “Look at the Elf, Look at the elf. Everyone Look at the Elf.”
The mother has this odd monotone accent that nobody could place at all. I thought South Carolina but then someone else said Kentucky and someone else said South Indiana. One of the elves from South Indiana said it wasn’t from South Indiana and I know for a fact it wasn’t Tennessee but could be some mix or mild retardation (wouldn’t be the first or the last)
She doesn’t stop there. This mother and her family go in and see Santa. As they are taking pictures with Santa the mom is trying to get the kids to smile. She says to her kid loudly and is that odd accent “Santa is in your world now, Ross… Be Happy.”
Originally I had planned to stay one year in Chicago. I wanted to stay a full year for many reasons such as making it through a winter and making sure I can live in a city for a year because I have only lived in Tampa Bay area and in Gainesville. My hopes and dreams have been wiped away now. At least the hope of living in Chicago for a full year and the dreams of more minimum wage jobs.
I hope you all will join me as I will hopefully continue to massively blog about this next adventure. Kamphey is going to the high seas of… drum roll please.. the CARIBBEAN.
A job offer has been made to me to do 6 months as a stage hand in a theater on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship named Freedom of the Seas. It’s one of the largest ships and offers a variety of entertainment. I am told my duties include: spotlight, sound and audio tech before/during/after shows, maintaining ice in the ice rink, and setting up parade routes.
This all sounds very exciting and I ship out Jan. 13th. Yes in two weeks. Goodbye Chicago Winter hello Caribbean Queens! Goodbye Snow hello Soirees. Goodbye gray skies Hello Gray Goose. Actually I won’t be allowed to drink very much because of safety issues you know being on a boat and all.
Heading to New York before heading to Miami to ship out. Just wanted to see another big city before heading out of the country. Seeing a lot of friends there and a fan of the blog Garrett Bantom while I’m there in NYC. We’ll see what happens in the next two weeks as I get rid of my car and my apartment and pack my life into one large suitcase.
Note: I have a few more posts for My SantaLand Diaries so check those out and I think it’ll be a week or two before I start posting the Cruise Ship Logs.
I was talking with a fellow Santa’s Helper the other day after work while she was waiting to be picked up by a friend and I was waiting for the train. We laughed about what’s post Cozy Cloud Cottage. What happens when we don’t have this job any more? She is one of the few people who don’t have regular jobs and she’s not doing this for extra holiday money. She is working here just like I am, for a job. We laughed because she started working at Millennium Ice Rink which turned me down for a job or at least didn’t call me back after an interview. She apparently didn’t even have an interview and still got the job.
It’s just another lousy minimum wage job but this one is 8 hours a day five days a week so there are more steady hours. I heard it’s a lot worse though because there isn’t much to do. The entire time is spent getting people the correct size skates. I can’t imagine that but I might end up there if nothing else comes up. At least it will keep me busy.
I might be able to blog about just a normal terrible minimum wage job but it won’t be as fun as this whole Santa experience has been. It won’t even be as fun as oneweekjob.com because I’d be stuck in one terrible job until March. At least at oneweekjob.com he gets 52 different lousy jobs but most of the are awesome.
Dan asked: Have you considered coloring your beard to further heighten your Santa-osity from a solid 6.5 to perhaps a 7 or 7.5?
The short answer: yes but I don’t have enough beard to pull off a real beard and I also look way too young to not use a fake beard.
The long answer:
Thanks for the rating of 6.5 Santa-osity. If I had to rate the other Santas on the standard that I am a 6.5 here is how it would go:
John: 1 Why? Retarded Santa
Swimsuit Santa: 5.5 Why? Fake beard and He tells kids he watches them in their swimsuits but other than that he’s perfectly fine.
Skinny Santa: 6.0 Why? Fake Beard, high pitched voice, doesn’t use a pillow and overall unconvincing.
Seminole Santa: 6.0 Why? He’s an FSU fan and from Jacksonville that should be enough but the biggest reason is that he doesn’t care about the kids. He’s in it for the money. He’s one of the ones that doesn’t care about the lists he gets, just the paycheck he gets.
Kamphey Claus: 6.5 Why? I do give myself a 6.5 because one point off for Fake beard, one point off for being just a bit too skinny to be Santa even though I am fat, just not fat enough. A point off for having young eyes and finally a half a point off for not having enough to say sometimes.
Santa CLAWS: 8.0 Why? The Santa CLAWS thing really creeps me out but the kids are totally having fun. He gets a point off for the fake beard and a point off for the CLAWS.
Santa Doubtfire: 8.0 Why? He’s an actor and could disguise his voice but doesn’t. Point off for fake beard and point off for terrible high pitched voice.
Santa Steve: 9.0 Why? Fake Belly, but real Beard. Has a belt that says Santa on it which to me doesn’t really complete the package but further exposes him as a fake.
Santa Sam: 9.0 Why? Yelled at me once but really a nice guy and real beard.
Santa Jim 9.0 Why? Works at White Hen before going to work so he’s ridiculously tired when he works as Santa and many times he will fall asleep while talking to kids. It’s actually quite fun.
Not a whole lot to talk about here. I’m in the last two weeks. I keep waiting for hell day. It seems like everyday is hell day here. It’s either hellish slow or hellish busy. There seems to be a groove that people are hitting. The workers who are a total mess are gone and the ones who just don’t like it at all just don’t come to work anymore. Somehow everyone else knows the busy days and calls in sick.
Note about the Blog: Sorry about the non post on Thursday and Friday. I was working 8am to midnight on Thursday and I didn’t get a chance to post. I wanted to make it up on Friday by recording an mp3 post but that never happened. I will answer a few more questions but I do want more questions as I’d like to keep up at least two more weeks of posts with answers to questions.
“It’s just a job.” That is both the most destructive and the most uplifting statement I could make about this whole thing. It gets me through some days but others I feel like I should be investing more. The days that I feel like I should be investing more are more than likely the days that I don’t get anything out of the job. Some days I feel like I’m on top of the world and this is a great gig. I ask myself those days, “Are they really paying me to do this?” I’m wondering now in the last two weeks of the job if the good days out weigh the bad days.
The only thing keeping me going through this job is this blog. I have no other purpose then to amass silly stories to retell through the use of this blog. Many of you may be wondering,”what does a Santa get paid for his work?” You’d think it would be an adequately paid job. I really wasn’t going to disclose this information but really I’ve gotten many questions about it so I might as well give out some information.
I typed the above paragraph a week before I am writing this. I don’t want to tell you what I make except that it is minimum wage which pretty much gives it away. Oh well. As one of the other Santas says, “you have to love this job.” One of my coworkers clearly is doing this job for extra holiday money which is fine but they do not what so ever like this job. They have a bad attitude and every time they come into the room I’m working the middle of my back tenses up. This is clearly not a good work environment.
This whole mopish and terrible work environment has to be just Chicago because through researching other SantaLands, especially the New York one I find that many times there is a camaraderie. At least they are all happy in the pictures they post online. If I took pictures at my place it’d be badly lit and people wouldn’t even smile.
A key part of any work environment has to be the team. There must be a sense of team, at least a sense of working together. Only the last two weeks did I ever really know where I was going to work inside the Cottage. Every day was a new thing for me for the first 7 weeks. As you can tell I was not the best Uber Greeter nor was I the best Greeter as I just ran out of things to say to kids. Of course I was never the worst. Actually I was far from the worst. I would say that in every single position I could have had in the Cottage I was 2nd best. Of course that means at each station there was one person that was better than me but never the same person. I should amend that and say I was the 3rd best at one thing, the Greeting Station. There were two “real” Elves who were 233 years old and 330 years old. They wore elf costumes and well one of them is Michelf who has commented here as Michelf. The other is Linda who wears elf ears and elf shoes. She also has red/white stockings.
Linda is great. She asks the kids if they have any Elf questions which of course they do. After I heard this I started using it once when I was a greeter and none of the kids had any questions. They all just seemed scared that I was talking to them.
